The curse of Pinterest is real ladies! And it is out to steal your family’s joy. 

If you don’t read anything else take note of this snip-it of advice: DO NOT search your child’s birthday theme for the first time on Pinterest the night before the party. You know why? MOM GUILT, that’s why!

My child is so excited about her small little birthday party with her classmates tomorrow night. She is thrilled to take them to her favorite arcade and have them experience half-off night like the ones her dad takes her and her siblings to if they worked hard on something to earn the coveted outing. And lets be honest, I am pretty thrilled to take them on half-off night too. Half off food and games? I am in!

Her idea of an amazing party included a pile of donuts with candles on top and a donut for each kid to take home. That’s it, no gift bags, no treat table where everything served lookes like a donut (think cups of Cheerios aptly labeled ‘donut seeds’), no special order balloons from England shaped like donuts. Nothing except, gasp… real donuts. 

But then it happened, I thought maybe I could make it just a little more special and come up with one more idea for her donut themed arcade party that she had been dreaming of for months. A dream mind you, that never changed shape or gave the slightest thought to the kids giving the party a grade. It simply consisted of one girl bubbling over with excitement to share something with her friends that was special to her. 

Enter Pinterest. 

With in seconds I went from mom of the year for taking her to a real bakery to taste test donuts last week to the most pitiful party planner of all time! What would the other kids think if they didn’t have an entire dessert table to choose from? Oh. My. Goodness. Look at that homemade banner with real donut sprinkles on it! Wait! I don’t have a banner! (scrolling, scrolling) CENTERPIECES!!!! I forgot centerpieces!!! (scrolling, scrolling) Look at that room and how it is decorated….UGH! I should have paid the extra $100 to have a private room so I could have decorated it to make it a REAL party. What if the kids tell her this is the lamest party ever because, for goodness sake, they only hung out and ate donuts! I should just cancel and start over so I can throw her a party she will be proud of. 

And then it hit me as quick as the guilt had set it. She planned her own party. She is already proud. So who am I really trying to please here? 

I hit that X in the corner before I could think twice. Before I almost gave my day away tomorrow to something that will cause me an undue amount of stress and probably make me an angry frustrated mother for the hour leading up the party because “there just is never enough time and nobody is cooperating!”. I almost ruined the party because I wanted to make it “better”. 

What is better anyways? I know this, we live in a crazy world where, for some, proving your worth means scanning the perfect pictures, of perfect parties, so we can plan a MORE perfect party. But we convince ourselves that it’s all worth it because our families MORE than appreciate all the time and effort it takes… don’t they? And I am sure your family LOVES to eat at the coffee table for a week as much as my family does because the kitchen table turned into a Joanns explosion, am I right? No? Really, are you sure? Because my kids totally understand when I am super stressed and yelling at them to move faster because I have stuff to do… for THEM! They just instantly turn into little party planning elves to cut perfect circles and clean up the kitchen for me after I make them the perfect donut shaped cake because, duh, a real donut is just way too predictable! SAID NO MOTHER EVER!

What we neglect to recognize is that, at times, those perfect pictures of those perfect parties represent precious time lost planning the ‘perfect party’ with a child who just wanted donuts, real donuts. 

This isn’t just about parties. This is about a mindset we have shackled ourselves to that demands the measuring stick of our success is a picture on Instagram or Pinterest. A picture, mind you, that someone picked out of the 500 they actually took to get just the right shot. It’s about the guilt we feel when we look at these pictures and question why we can’t have ‘that life’. We imagine the woman’s kids all tucked perfectly into their beds at 7:30 pm in Hannah Anderson pajamas under sheets that match the quilt that matches the pillows that match the paint on the walls of her picture perfect house. Oh my gosh, I bet her kids even remember to brush their teeth…EVERYDAY! And we are sure she is so organized and has so much time on her hands that her family never eats the same meal twice in one month. 

Can we do each other a favor? Can we agree to spend more time on things that really matter this year? Can we spend more time taste testing the donuts with our kids and making more memories that will bring a smile to their faces when we are old and they are at our bedside holding our hands while we work to take our last breaths? 

I am not condemning creativity and order. If you know me at all you know how much I love to throw a fun party, design a house, or cook all day. (you also know there is not much order) 😉 What I am challenging us to think about, myself included, is the cost incurred to claim our own piece of that Pinterest pie. Decorate the house, just don’t make it a museum of your favorite instagram posts where your kids are not free to make messy memories. Plan the party! Just don’t leave out the kid who the party is really for in the first place. They would much rather have a say in it than get yelled at because they are in the way. And who knows maybe they will really want a banner! However be prepared, they might actually want to help you cut it out too. Can you handle that?